The Broken Halo
by xtheGoldenEaglex
Summary: Alex went from being a servant of nature to nature's greatest abomination because her twin's evil doppelganger liked to play dirty. The transition from witch to vampire is a difficult one, especially when there's an immortal hybrid hell-bent on sacrificing your sister. Who will help her through this milestone?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_"I'm a what?"_

_"You're a witch. Like me. Like Bonnie."_

_"What about Elena?"_

_"She doesn't have the gift."_

_..._

_"If you so much as hurt a hair on my sister's head, I will kill you."_

_"You're nothing but a baby witch. You can't hurt me."_

_"You'll find and see I can."_

_..._

_"How could you keep this from me?"_

_"I did it to protect you."_

_"I don't want any more of your stupid lies, Alex. Maybe you could tell me the truth for once."_

_..._

_"We're adopted. Our birth mother's name was Isobel. She's dead."_

_..._

_"I turned her. I turned Isobel. She wanted freedom and I gave it to her."_

_..._

_"Isobel doesn't want to know you."_

_..._

_"Wait... what? John's our father?"_

_..._

_"Elena?"_

_"Guess again."_

_"Katherine."_

_"Ding, ding, ding we have a winner! I'm sorry about this. Wait... no. Actually, I'm not."_

_..._

My name is Alexandra Gilbert. And I am a witch turned vampire. 

* * *

**__**

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I'm not sure if I should turn this into a full-length story. If you liked it, please review. And the future chapters will be a lot longer!_

Follow, favourite, review.


	2. The Return

**The Return**

Elena walked into my room. Her hair was curly and her attire was more... uh... sexy. She wasn't wearing that before.

"Tough day, huh?" I said, looking at the book.

"Yeah." She sighed and sat on the bed in front of me. "Only I wasn't there for most of it."

"What?" I furrowed my brows in confusion, but laughed. "You're going crazy Elena." Elena didn't laugh, she looked dead serious. Realisation hit me and I stood up. "Elena?"

She smirked. "Guess again."

"Katherine."

Katherine vampire-speeded in front of me. "Ding, ding, ding we have a winner! I'm sorry about this. Wait... no. Actually, I'm not."

She rushed behind me and got me in a headlock. I struggled against the five hundred year old vampire. She bit her wrist and shoved her blood in my mouth. I squirmed. _No, no, no. _

"Please," I begged.

I heard a _snap_. And then everything went black.

* * *

"Oh, God," Elena gasped as she went into her sister's room. She rushed over to her side to check her pulse. There was nothing there. "Stefan! She's... she's..."

"Katherine could have turned her," Stefan tried to soothe his doppelganger girlfriend.

Elena shook her head. "She won't complete the transition. She's a - She _was _a witch. And Katherine p-probably just killed her. _Stefan_. She's dead."

Stefan sat beside her his girlfriend and held her in his arms, stroking her hair. "Hey, hey. It'll be okay."

* * *

I couldn't open my eyes. I felt different... cold. Like all the life had been sucked out of me. The last thing I remembered... Elena - no _Katherine _ - snapped my neck, but not before she shoved her blood in my mouth. Did that mean... no. No. I couldn't be one of them. I didn't want to be a vampire.

Finally being able to open my eyes, I gasped for breath. Stefan was holding Elena as she sobbed, but their attention was directed to me. I was lying on the bed. I had this hunger... I knew what I wanted. It was the only thing on my mind.

"I'm dead," I stated, sitting up. "Katherine - she-she killed me. I'm a vampire."

"You need blood to complete the transition," Stefan said. I looked at my hands. "You are going to complete the transition, right?"

Did I want an eternity of misery? Of self-hate? No. Did I want Jenna, Jeremy and Elena to suffer because I was too self-righteous to turn? No. What I wanted was to be human... to be the mediocre witch I used to be. But that wasn't an option.

I had only been a vampire for a few seconds, and I already wanted to rip apart my sister.

"Maybe."

Elena got up. "You can't just... _die_."

"Elena. I'm already dead." I looked over to the plant on my bedside table, pouting. "I can't feel it. I feel nothing." I reached out my hand to touch the plant. "It's like nature is just an object now."

Stefan had a sympathetic expression on his face. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head and got to my feet. "I don't want to die, but I don't want a life of self-hate and misery. Right now, I want to eat Elena's brains out. And she's my sister! I can't live like that."

"It gets easier," Stefan assured me.

I couldn't hear what he said after that, I was too focused on the vein that pulsed in Elena's neck. I licked my lips. _She's your sister! _I reminded myself. This would be my life if I turned. I'd have to deal with murderous urges every day for eternity.

I wouldn't have children! Never again would I practice magic. I teared up. What the hell was wrong with me? I didn't _cry_! The last time I cried was the night my parent's died.

Elena watched me warily. I covered my mother with my hand to cover the sobs. "I don't want to be like this!" I roared. "I-I want to kill! It's not normal. Oh, God!"

"You called."

Damon, Stefan's older vampire brother, walked into the room, holding a blood bag. I growled like an animal.

"You brought the blood bag," Stefan stated.

If it was even possible, I saw a trace of sympathy on his face. "You're going to force me to turn?" I asked angrily. "Seriously, Stefan? Shouldn't it be _my _choice?"

"I'm not forcing you to do anything," Stefan said. "You don't have to drink the blood."

I scoffed. "It's pretty hard to resist." Damon placed the blood bag on the dressing table. I couldn't take my eyes off it. "You really want me to turn. You want to see me hate myself more than anything else in the world. I'm-I _was _a witch. I was supposed to hate vampires, not become one."

"Please, Alex. For me."

"For you." I shook my head. "We've all done e-freaking-nough for you, Elena. This is my choice. And mine alone."

* * *

Bonnie sat on the chair by my dressing table. "I can't believe this is happening. There has to be a loop-hole."

Bonnie and I were close. Witches felt an urge to protect their own, that was the case with me and Bonnie. "I'm not going to let you risk yourself for me."

"I can't let you become one of them." Tears welled up in her eyes. "And I can't lose you."

The bloodbag still sat on the dressing table, waiting for me to rip it open and down it. "If I do choose to turn... will you hate me?"

She shook her head. "No. No. It's not going to come down to that. There-there has to be a solution."

"There's not Bonnie," I said. "And I'm not selfish enough to let you hurt yourself so I don't have to make a choice."

"What will you choose?"

"Depends... will you hate me if I become one of them?" I asked.

She shook her head once again. "I could never hate you."

Standing up, I walked slowly towards the bloodbag, reaching for it, dazed As soon as I touched it, I snapped back into reality and ripped it open. I was so damn hungry.

I tasted it and made a face. It tasted... _ugh_. Was there something wrong with me? Why couldn't I eat like a normal vampire?

But then the taste changed and it was the nicest substance in the world. I downed the bag hungrily. When I was finished, I stared at the vein in Bonnie's wrist. She watched me warily.

I swallowed. I needed more blood. Not having a clue about what I was doing, I stepped towards Bonnie, looking at the blue vein.

"I'm so hungry," I murmured, but stopped suddenly before I could harm Bonnie. My eyes widened. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

I plopped onto the bed, clutching my stomach. Tears started streaming down my face. Bonnie just stared at me, a slight hatred in her eyes. I was the thing she hated. The species she was supposed to detest. Did she hate me too?

She said she could never hate me, but that didn't stop her from hating what I was.

* * *

"I brought the stone," Stefan announced as he came into the room. Bonnie hadn't moved. "Lapis lazuli."

"I need to get my grimoire." She stood up. "I'll be back soon."

She left and Stefan placed the stone on the dressing table. "How are you feeling?"

I scoffed. "I almost killed my best friend, who pretty much hates me - no wait, she hates who I am. I'm everything I'm supposed to hate. And I feel like... I feel like I'm freaking pregnant."

Stefan raised an eyebrow, amused. "Pregnant?"

"Hormonal. Maybe pubescent is the right word." He laughed. "Or PMSing. It's like I want to cry, but I also want to break something."

"Your emotions are heightened," he said. "That's normal. Who you are when you were a human is too."

I raised an eyebrow. "Like I wasn't bad enough."

"What?"

"I have anger issues." I stared at my lap. "Like... really bad anger issues. Dad checked me into anger management when I was thirteen. As well as that, I'm proud. Really, _really _proud. I hate people helping me. And I'm stubborn and I can hold grudges for a whole decade. I still hold a grudge against Tom Walters because he knocked my ice-cream in Second Grade."

Stefan snorted. "You and Damon would get along. He still blames me for forcing him to turn."

"Ah... So that's why he hated you."

He nodded. "That... and he blamed me for the whole Katherine fiasco."

I felt my blood boil when he mentioned Katherine. "I swear to God... when I see that bitch, I will kill her."

"She's five hundred times older than you and that means stronger," Stefan said. "You shouldn't start any trouble with her."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. But can we please kill her? Even if I'm not the one to do it. She's made me like this... I'm a monster. A blood-thirsty monster," I whimpered. And I was crying. _Again. _"And I can't stop c-crying! This-this _sucks_."

He sat beside me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me. "Hey. I'll help you."

"Does that mean I have to kill bunnies?" I sobbed. "I don't want to kill bunnies."

Stefan chuckled. "No. You don't have to kill bunnies."

"Or deers," I said. "I don't want to feel guilty everytime I watch _Bambi_."

"That leaves squirrels and birds."

I groaned. "I don't want to eat _squirrels_! And who knows where those birds have been. _Ugh_... Can't I just drink from bloodbags?"

"If you think you can control it," he said. "I see no problem. Just don't kill anyone."

"I'll try." I looked at his shirt. I was getting blood on it.

I jumped back suddenly and got a change of clothes from the wardrobe. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to have a shower. God knows I need one. I smell like death and that is _not _an attractive scent."

I was burnt when I walked into the bathroom. I super-speeded over to the window and pulled down the blinds.

This vampire thing would take a long time to get used to.

* * *

Bonnie opened the grimoire to the page with the spell on it. I walked out of the bathroom. The stone was inside a really ugly ring. I didn't complain. At least this allowed me to not burn in the sun.

"Thank you, Bonnie, for doing this," I said, sitting on the bed, my legs crossed.

"Let me explain the rules first," she started. Stefan leaned against the door and Elena sat by the dressing table. "As soon as you hurt someone, I'll dispel the ring. Understood?"

Well. That hurt. Bonnie - my _best friend _- thought that I was going to kill someone.

"Great to know you trust me, Bon." She shot me a look. "You really think I'll hurt someone? Do you even know me?"

"You tried it earlier." She shrugged. "It's who you are now."

"You said that you wouldn't hate me if I became a vampire!" I exclaimed, seething. "It seems like you do."

"I don't hate you. I'm just being conscious."

I rolled my eyes. "I won't hurt anyone. Just get on with it."

Bonnie sighed and did the spell. She didn't say an incantation, she just bathed it in sunlight. It upset me greatly that I wouldn't be able to do that again. I loved magic. There was something about lighting a candle with sheer will that amused me.

I heard Elena's pulse. _This isn't the time to rip apart your sister,_ I thought to myself.

"There." She tossed me the ring and I put it on. "Hurt anyone-"

"And you'll dispel the ring and I'll have an eternity of torture and staying indoors. Yada-yada bing-bing. I get it."

Bonnie narrowed her eyes at me and picked up the grimoire. "I'm gonna go."

_About time_. Everything that anyone did annoyed me today. It was like I was on my period. I wondered did vampires have periods. I could smell Elena's... which was super creepy.

Bonnie shut the door behind her. "She's just being careful," Elena said.

"No. She hates me. I'm everything she hates now." I gasped, thinking of my brother. "_Jeremy_! Is he okay? Did Katherine hurt him?"

"No. He's fine. He drank Anna's blood and tried to kill himself with pills-" I gaped. "-But the blood only healed the damage. He's human."

"And Jenna?"

"She wasn't home. She's in the kitchen making chili for the Mayor's memorial."

_Oh. _Tyler's dad was dead. I had completely forgotten. And Caroline... _crap_.

"How's Care?"

"Damon fed her some of her blood," Elena replied. "She's healing. Everyone's okay."

"I should go to the memorial."

I was the eldest in this family, after Jenna. I had to responsible. After Mom and Dad's death, I swallowed down the grief and helped Jenna take care of us. She was a college student turned parental figure. She needed all the help she could get.

"You're not leaving the house," Stefan said. "Katherine's targeting you. And you're a new vampire, control isn't your strongest point."

I clenched my fists. "Why does everyone think I'm going to hurt someone?" I shouted. "Don't you trust me?"

"When you smell the blood, you won't have a choice."

Maybe it was the Caroline in me, but I liked being in control. The thought of just attacking someone because the cravings got the better of me was terrifying.

"Besides, we won't be gone for too long." Elena smiled. "Promise."

* * *

There were perks to being a vampire. The super-speed, super-strength and, one of my favourites, great hearing.

"I feel bad leaving her on her own," Elena said.

"We'll be back within the hour, she'll be fine."

"What if she's not? What if she goes on a killing spree?" Jeremy butted in.

I loved how much faith my friends and family had in me!

"She's tough," Stefan said. "It's Katherine I'm worried about."

"Bonnie just called. Katherine's at the Lockwood's."

"You guys ready?" I heard Aunt Jenna's soft voice. "What's up with all the visitors this morning?"

"Oh, uh, nothing," Elena stammered. "Let's go."

I heard the door slam shut. I rushed downstairs and made myself a hot chocolate, anything to take my mind off of blood. I could still taste it in my mouth. The sweet, forbidden taste.

The hot chocolate worked it's wonders. I gulped it down, but the hunger was still there. I broke into Aunt Jenna's alcohol stash. Such a teenage cliche.

I downed a bottle of vodka. If I was still a human, it would've given me alcohol poisoning. But vampire healing healed me and I was able to drink as much alcohol as I wanted. I pumped up the music, swaying my hips back and forth. Even vampire healing couldn't get me sober after all the alcohol I downed.

Jenna would kill me when she came home. And I couldn't go to the shop to get more alcohol. Stefan gave me direct orders not to leave the house.

"So... here's where the real party is." I turned around to see Katherine, my sire. "The Lockwood's were always a bore."

"Katherine," I growled.

"No need to be hostile. I want to be friends."

"_Friends_?" I scoffed. "You killed me!"

"I made you better," she argued. "That timid witch act was boring me. I saw the wild child potential and I acted. You'll be thanking me in a couple of years. Or centuries."

"I'll never _thank _you for doing doing this to me," I sneered.

She rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch, putting her feet up on the table. "Quit the 'I'm so innocent and perfect' act. Underneath all that fluff, there's a manipulative bitch waiting to be awoken."

"And you turned me just so you could have a little minion?" I asked sarcastically. "You really expect me to believe that?"

"No, I didn't." She smirked. "You're smart. I like you. Better than my self-righteous doppelganger anyway."

"You've been watching us?" I was a little creeped out.

"Of course. I like to suss a place out before I terrorise the inhabitants."

"What do you want, Katherine?" I sighed.

"Down to business then." She grinned. "I need your assistance. You see, I was going to kill you - for personal reasons - but then someone convinced me otherwise." I opened my mouth to ask who. "And before you ask, no, I'm not gonna tell you. So, I need a replacement."

I cocked an eyebrow. "And you need me why..."

"I like to get people to do my dirty work," she answered. "Damon Salvatore has already done most of the work. You only have to do a tiny bit."

"And why would I help you?"

She scoffed. "Because I saved you from a life of complete and utter boredom." I almost laughed. "You _will _thank me for that, believe me. But since you haven't had time to live it up, I have to reduce myself to threats. And believe me, they aren't empty ones. Make sure no one visits Caroline in hospital tonight, or I'll terrorise everyone you love. Starting with John, then Aunt Jenna and last but not least, little Jeremy."

I was scared. "You wouldn't..."

She smirked. "Oh yes, I would."

"Caroline is my best friend! I couldn't. I can't just let you turn her!"

She stood up. "It's your choice. But if Blondie is still human by tomorrow, it's bye-bye Uncle - or is it Father? - John. Then the lovely yet oblivious Aunt Jenna. And if Caroline is still human then, Jeremy will be headless. Vampire Caroline is going to happen anyway." She clutched the front door handle, but turned around before opening it. "Please don't make me dirty my good shoes."

And with that, the evil doppelganger left.

* * *

Elena, Jenna and Jeremy came back later that evening. I had been talking to Bonnie on the phone. I lied and said we had a Maths test tomorrow. Bonnie was very studious, like I was. I told Matt as well. The only other person was Elena.

The guilt was eating at me. I felt sick, like I was about to vomit. It didn't help that being a vampire only magnified my guilt.

"Hey, you're back."

Elena and Jenna smiled at me. Jeremy had rushed upstairs. Emo hermit-teen phase, I guess.

"Any trouble? Elena said that you weren't feeling well," Jenna enquired.

Elena shot me a look that clearly said 'play along with it'. "Uh... yeah, but I'm better now." I gave her a reassuring smile. "How was your day?"

Jenna groaned and plopped down on the couch. "I always hated the whole founder family crap. I don't know how your mom dealt with it."

My doppelganger twin laughed. "Mom was great with these things."

Mom was a vampire hunter. She'd be so ashamed right now. Her daughter - adoptive daughter - had become the species she and Dad hunted.

"I'm gonna go upstairs," Elena said, shooting me a worried glance. I was getting a lot of those today. "'Night."

"Night," Jenna and I said in unison as she left.

"Long day," Jenna said, putting her feet on the table. "All that I want to do is sleep."

_All that I want to do is down a hundred bloodbags. _But I had to keep everyone from going to Caroline, and Katherine's needs came first.

I heard Damon in Elena's room. I got up and went upstairs.

Damon was trying to get Elena to kiss him. "Hey!" I called, he looked over to me. "Stop sexually harrassing my sister."

"Elena, what's going on in here?" Jeremy said from behind me.

Elena pulled her wrist from Damon's grasp. "Nothing, Jeremy. It's okay just go back to bed. You too, Alex."

"No, it's not okay, Elena." He looked to Jeremy. "He wants to be a vampire."

He rushed towards Jeremy and pushed him against the wall, choking him. I tried to pry him off of my little brother, but he was stronger than me.

"Damon! Stop!" I yelled. "Let him go!"

Jeremy was gasping for breath. "You want to shut out the pain?" Damon asked. "It's the easiest thing in the world. The part of you that cares just goes away, all you have to do is flip the switch and _snap_!"

He snapped Jeremy's neck.

"Damon! NO!" Elena cried, rushing over to him.

I rushed over to Damon and slammed him to the wall.

"I'm older than you."

He was right. If I was going to fight him, I was going to lose. I let him go. "Get the hell out of here," I spat.

He looked almost sorry. No, he wasn't sorry. That would imply that he was human and capable of emotion. He was just a dick.

Damon left. Elena held Jeremy in her arms and checked his hand. He was wearing the Gilbert ring.

"It's okay. He'll be okay," Elena said, more to herself than me.

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **__What did you think of this chapter? Do you think Katherine should manipulate Alex or Caroline? _

_Review!_


	3. Brave New World

**Brave New World**

"Get up," Elena said as she pulled the covers off of me. "The carnivals today and since Caroline is in hospital, we are entrusted with the sacred task of organising it."

I felt guilty when she talked about Caroline. She was a vampire now. Maybe... maybe apart of me wanted another baby vampire around. It was extremely selfish... but nobody ever accused me of being perfect.

Elena tugged on the curtains and pulled them over. Thanks to Bonnie, the sun didn't burn me.

"And what if I lose control?" I sat up and stretched.

"You won't." She smiled at me. "I trust you."

"Bonnie doesn't," I said sadly. "What if she's right? What if I do hurt someone?"

"We'll watch you," Elena promised. "Get a wrist band. Every time you want to... erm... _kill _someone, snap it. Or ask Jeremy what his methods were for quitting drugs."

I got out of the bed. "Yeah. I'll do that."

* * *

"Jer?" I called as I went into his room. My baby brother was lying on his bed, reading a book. "You're reading? _Reading_? Since when did you read?"

He rolled his eyes. There was something off about him. We were usually close. We had playful banters and fights, there was never hostility between us. I guess that was just another thing that changed when Katherine turned me.

"What do you want?" he asked, flipping to the next page.

I sat on the chair by his desk and hung my arm over it. "How'd you quit drugs?"

His eyebrows rose. He was visibly shocked by the question. "I just did."

"Come on! There must have been something you did! You can't just magically stop."

Jeremy shrugged. "I'm telling you the truth. When Vicki left - or died, I suppose - I didn't feel the craving any more." He eyed me cautiously. "This is about your blood-cravings, isn't it?"

"There out of control!" He edged away from me slightly. I tried to ignore the pit of sadness in my stomach. Even my own _brother _feared me. "I don't want to hurt anyone. But everyone thinks I do. How could you _want _this, Jeremy?"

He sighed. "When Anna died, I wanted the option to just turn it off when things got bad. And it looked cool, but now... I see how much it's hurting you."

"Don't you ever become a vampire, Jeremy," I warned. "Or I will kill you."

He laughed. "Good to see you're still yourself."

I laughed too, but sobered up when I had a thought. "Now I have to use that stupid rubber band method."

* * *

"Katherine looked just like you, it was freakish," Bonnie said. I only heard parts of it. I was too focused on the blood that was pumping through her body.

I snapped the band repeatedly. I had breakfast - a delicious blood bag a la mode with toast. Weird combination, huh?

"She is my ancestor. Hey, I moved the student booth into the cafeteria."

"Your _vampire _ancestor and she didn't just resemble you like a family member would. She was you," Bonnie said.

"I don't know, I can't explain it. It's creepy, that's all I got."

"How do you know she's not still out there pretending to be you?"

_Snap. Snap. Snap._

"I don't but I could sit here and be tortured by the not-knowing or I could get these prizes to the ring toss."

"Have you talk to Damon since he killed Jeremy? Or tried to kill Jeremy?" Bonnie asked.

"No, Bonnie, I haven't and I won't and I don't want to talk about Damon or anything else that's vampire related okay? I'm human. And I have to do human stuff. Otherwise, I'm going to go crazy."

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'll focus. We have to make Caroline proud or she will kill us. I don't know how she does all of this."

"Well because she's not human, obviously."

"Obviously," Bonnie said. Elena and the Bennett witch laughed.

_Oh. You have no idea._

* * *

"Hey, Alex." I whipped around to see Matt. "We didn't have a Maths test. What were you talking about?"

I laughed, but it came out shaky. "I got confused. It's probably a different subject."

Matt groaned. "The _one _time I actually study for a Maths test!"

"You should be studying more often," I chatised. "Extra study will come in handy for finals."

I made my way to the girl's changing room, which were beside the boys'. I had running today. I needed to get my life back, even if I was a vampire. I was in control.

"I don't exactly have time for studying. Between working at the grill to pay the bills and football practice, it doesn't give me much time to do anything but sleep," Matt said.

"You could let me help-"

"No." Matt shook his head. "I don't want any charity."

"You're being stubborn. We care about you Matt, we just want to help. And it's not fair that you're all on your own."

"I'm fine, Alex. I'm getting there. Besides, I might get a scholarship with football." We stopped at the dressing rooms. "Isn't that what you're hoping for too? A sport's scholarship?"

I shook my head. "Probably not. I want to get into college for my grades. And it's not like I'm that good at any of the sports."

Matt shrugged. "You're good at running. And swimming. You might get it."

I smiled at him. All of a sudden, the hunger came back. I heard Matt's beating, human heart as it pumped blood through his body. I snapped the band subtly. I did it again when I realised it wasn't working.

Matt looked worried. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I growled, my gaze fixated on the vein that protruded through his neck. "I'm just so freakin' hungry. Don't move." I compelled him. "Or scream."

Fangs broke through my gums. It was sore, but then it felt natural. Like this was me. My fangs latched onto his neck and I sucked. The warm, divine liquid filled my mouth. I moaned and swallowed. I felt Matt's body weaken. I was killing him - draining him of his blood. This was _Matt_! My best friend since childhood. The guy I had a slight crush on. I couldn't kill him, but it felt so good. I just wanted to drink.

My fear of the consequences that followed drained away as I sucked the life out of Matt, losing myself on the way. This wasn't me. I couldn't kill Matt, but I couldn't stop myself. I tried to pull away, but each time I did I only got hungrier.

Finally, I found the strength to pull away. The temptation to continue to drink was so damn strong. I snapped the rubber band again and stared into Matt's blue eyes.

"You'll forget that this happened. We talked. I never hurt you. I'm so sorry Matt." I began to tear up.

"Sorry for what?" he asked.

"Go to football practice," I compelled him again. "Have fun."

Matt smiled. "I will."

He went into the boy's changing rooms and I went into mine. There was only me and another girl - Alison - in the dressing rooms.

She smiled at me as she changed into a different top. "Hey, Alex."

The urge came rushing back. "Allison," I panted.

Maybe I was the monster Bonnie thought I was. I almost killed Matt! What the hell was wrong with me? I knew Allison my whole life! We did running together for as long as I could remember.

It was like I wasn't in control anymore. My cravings controlled me.

I stepped towards the blonde, growling in hunger. "Uh... Alex? You okay?"

I shook my head, tears threatening to fall. "I'm so sorry."

Veins were protruding beneath my brown eyes, which had darkened considerably, my teeth were sharp and I felt like a barbaric animal, about to rip their prey to shreds.

"Don't make a sound."

She pursed her lips, but fear was evident in her eyes. She stepped backwards until she was pressed against the wall. This was... fun. And that scared me more than anything. I was enjoying seeing this person so scared. There life was in my hands... I had the power. I could let her live or I could kill her. And it thrilled me.

"Oh God!" I exclaimed before pressing my teeth onto her neck.

Allison struggled underneath me. I didn't compel her to stand still. I really should have. My hands gripped her shoulders, trying to stop her from moving. The taste was gorgeous. Matt's had been nice, but Allison's was nicer. I was hungrier, more desperate for blood. Her body weakened beneath me. I should have stopped, but I only realised what I was doing as I tasted the last drop of blood. _What the hell! _I gasped as I held her body slightly away from mine. Her eyes were closed and I couldn't hear a heartbeat. I killed her. Oh my God. I shook her, trying to wake her up.

"Allison! Please don't be dead! Wake up!" I cried.

There was nothing. No response. I threw her body to the floor in disgust, and then kneeled down beside her. How the hell was I going to cover this up? Guilt rushed through me. I just killed someone, and I was worried about getting _caught_? I should be put in prison right about now. Or locked in the Salvatore cellar. All the times I gave out to Damon for killing people. I was no better. I was a monster.

I turned around when I heard the door open and rushed over behind the door.

"Alex?" It was Stefan. "I know you're in here." He inhaled in shock when he saw her body, lying on the floor. He rushed over to her and checked for a pulse.

I closed the door. "I did it," I sobbed. "I killed her. I killed someone, Stefan!"

He walked away from her body and towards me. He wrapped his strong arms around me, engulfing me in a hug.

"You didn't mean to."

"And-and I liked it, Stefan! It was fun! It felt great!" I sobbed into his shoulder. "What will Elena think of me? Oh God. What will Bonnie think of me? She's going to dispel the ring!"

He pulled back from the hug, a look of disappointment on his face. I understood why immediately. Even I was disgusted with me. I had just killed someone and I was worried about the stupid ring!

I pulled said ring off of my finger and threw it onto the ground. "There! Now I can't walk in the sun. I can't hurt anyone."

"Alex-"

"No! I don't want it!" I sounded like a spoilt child. "This is better for us all. I can't hurt anyone for half of the day. I'll leave town... I'll-I'll get out of you're lives. It's better for us all."

Stefan placed a hand on each of my shoulders. "No. You made a mistake. I'll take care of the body. Nobody needs to know. I'll help you through this." He picked up the ring from the ground and offered it to me.

"Promise?" I said, eyeing the ring.

He smiled. "Promise."

* * *

"So... how are you getting on with the whole vampire thing?" Bonnie asked me as we set up the animals.

I placed one of the animals - a fluffy rabbit - onto the shelf aggressively.

"Oh, I dunno," I said sarcastically, anger racing through me. "My emotions are heightened. So that means I have really, _really _bad anger issues. I want to cry at everything. I want to rip apart anyone who so much as says anything to me. And you being self-righteous and pretending like nothing has happened is _not _helping!"

Bonnie appeared to be shocked. What was she expecting? An 'I'm fine'? I was the queen of 'I'm fine's! I pretty much created the term. When Mom and Dad died, I cried _twice, _just because I didn't want to look weak. I put on a brave face for my family and pretended like I hadn't just lost the two people I cared about most in the world.

"Look, I'm sorry, it's just been hard."

I scoffed. "It's been hard for _you_? I'm the witch-turned-vampire, Bonnie! Can you imagine what that's like? I have no connection _whatsoever _to nature. I'm dead. Take your head out of your ass and actually think about what this like for me."

I turned around, but Bonne gripped my wrist and pulled me back. "Wait. That was wrong of me to say. It's just... vampires were the reason my grams died. And you were the only witch I knew... and I'm alone now."

"You're not alone. I'll help you with whatever you need. Just help _me_," I said.

She nodded. "I will. I'll be here for you." She hugged me. "I'm sorry. For doubting you. You haven't hurt anyone... I shouldn't have expected you to."

I killed Allison and almost killed Matt. I couldn't go a second without thinking about blood, being so close to Bonnie's neck didn't help at all.

"Uh... Bonnie? Can you let me go so I can get away from that really tempting vein?"

She pulled back immediately, smiling sheepishly. "Right."

* * *

I went to the carnival later that night, dressed in black skinny jeans, a blue top and a leather jacket. I felt like a change. I wasn't the sporty, nerdy girl with zero confidence anymore. I hadn't been in a long time. I felt good. The only down side was that I almost killed my best friend, killed an innocent girl and played a part in turning my _other _best friend into a vampire. And I was scared shitless of a five hundred year old vampire who wanted an alliance.

The carnival looked great. Bonnie, Elena and I did a great job. Caroline really would be proud. How would she react when she found out I helped turn her into a monster? How would Elena... or Bonnie? But I was doing it to protect them. Partially.

"Alex."

"Stefan," I greeted.

"You came," he noted. "That's good."

"You were the one who told me to come," I said. "Since it'll 'help me save my humanity.'"

He laughed. "Come on."

* * *

"You're lurking," Stefan said to Damon.

"I'm observing."

Tyler won against another man - who looked stronger - at an arm-wrestling match.

"He's got strength."

I scoffed. "He's a triple letter varsity athlete. It'd be more worrying if he hadn't."

I saw Tyler's uncle Mason approach the table. "I bet I could beat you." He sat down in front of Tyler.

"Enter the uncle," Damon commentated.

"That's ridiculous."

Mason bet Tyler. "Okay, he's the champ, who wants to go next?"

"Stefan wants to go." Damon patted his brother's back.

Stefan shot him a small glare before smiling at the Lockwood's. "Yeah, sure. I'll... give it a shot."

"Get him Stef!" Damon called.

"Could you be anymore embarrassing?" I asked.

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Oh, yes."

The match looked fairly even, both of them struggling. Stefan should have won easily, he was putting in enough pressure. What surprised me the most was that Mason bet him too. Even Stefan looked shocked.

"You didn't put in any effort at all," Damon said as Stefan returned.

"Yeah, actually I did."

"You two come with me."

"Is he...?"

"No, no, it wasn't that kind of strength but it was more than human, if that make sense," Stefan said.

"What is up with that family? They're not vampires, what the hell are they?" Damon asked.

"Maybe they're ninja turtles," Stefan suggested, raising his brows.

"You're not funny."

"Trolls," I said. Damon shot me a look.

"Or zombies. _Werewolves_," Stefan joked.

"No comedic timing at all," Damon said. He turned around to see the repair guy - Carter.

"What? What are you up to?" Stefan enquired.

"Since this is reality and there's no such thing as werewolves, trolls or combat turtles."

"He said ninja turtles, actually," I said. "And vampires are real.. so why can't werewolves or ninja turtles be?"

"Because it's ridiculous," Damon said, approaching Carter. "Hey you!"

"I have a name," Carter snapped.

"Yeah I don't care." He gripped his shoulders. "I need you to pick a fight with someone, a kid named Tyler Lockwood."

"_Damon_," I stressed. "Don't do this."

"It's just an experiment. Get him mad, don't back down no matter what he does, okay?"

"I won't back down," Carter repeated robotically.

"I know you won't."

Damon let him go. "You're a dick, you know that?" I growled. "Tyler and that guy are innocent and Tyler might end up killing him."

"And we'll see what happens then," he said.

"What the hell is this going to accomplish?" I asked.

"That Tyler kid is incapable of walking away from a fight. Let's see who intervenes, maybe it's the ambiguous, supernatural mystery uncle."

* * *

Later that night, after way too many shots, Damon dragged me to a classroom. I grumbled until he told me that Caroline was a vampire. I had to act shocked.

"How did this happen?" Stefan asked.

"Well, I fed her blood and Katherine obviously kill her and A plus B equals..."

"But why?" Elena questioned.

I twiddled my thumbs and sat on the table, too guilty to speak.

"Because Katherine is a manipulative nasty little slut," Damon growled. "She turned Alex and now she turned Caroline. She's up to something."

"And she said 'game on'? What does that even mean?" Stefan said.

"It means she's playing dirty, she wants us to know."

"But why Alex? Why Caroline?"

"I don't know."

_She wants to kill us. _Well, Caroline, not me, apparently.

"Caroline must be completely out of her mind, she doesn't even know what's happening to her," Stefan said.

"Oh I think she does. All of my compulsion from the past started wearing off the minute she was in transition."

That never happened to me. Since I was a witch, I couldn't be compelled. I skipped the whole vampire-toy bit and went straight to vampire.

"We have to find her," Stefan said.

"Yep and kill her."

"Wait. No. You're not killing Caroline," I said, gripping the table and glaring at Damon.

"She knows who we are. She's officially a liability, and we've got to get rid of her."

"Damon, absolutely not."

"Need I remind you of a tragic little story of a girl named Vicki Donovan? Alex over here might survive a little longer-" I scowled at him. "-But Caroline, of all people, will not make it as a vampire. Her mother is a vampire hunter. Guys come on, we all know how this story's gonna end, just flip to the last chapter and..."

"Nope." I shook my head. "Not happening."

"No? Your silence is deafening, Stefan. Wait, wasn't there a school carnival the night you staked Vicki? Talk about a town where story repeats herself. You know I'm right," Damon said.

"We're not going to kill her," Stefan told him.

"It's the only way."

Stefan and Elena left, not before Stefan shot Damon a glare.

"You really think I can't survive being a vampire?"

He leaned against the wall and sighed. "No."

"Why?"

"You're too... fragile, but you're smarter than Caroline so I guess that's a bonus. And you've kept our secret this long. So I won't kill you."

"And why not?" I snapped. "Don't want to dirty your hands?"

"Because I want to see how the story unfolds," Damon admitted. "I want to see if you'll give up and off yourself because the guilt is so unbearable, or if you'll get yourself killed."

"So I'm just a reality show to you?" I spat, seething.

Damon shrugged. "What else did you expect?"

* * *

I drank my sixth blood bag in a row. I had just raided the hospital and probably took half of their supply. I could pay for it tomorrow. The council would get suspicious, but they wouldn't expect me. Not the weak, overachieving Alexandra Gilbert.

The state I was in was pitiful. There was empty bags all around me. My top was stained, so was the carpet. How was I supposed to explain this to Jenna? There was blood in my hair and it looked like I dipped-dyed it red. I laughed as I tugged at a strand. If only it was ketchup.

What would Mom and Dad say? I was a murderer. It was in my nature, but that was no excuse. I should have fought it. I should have fought the urge to kill. Now Allison was in an unmarked grave somewhere nobody would find her.

I had a shower, reveling in the hot steam. It was too hot and it burnt my skin, but I liked it. It fascinated me when my skin healed so quickly.

I changed into my PJs and went downstairs to get some cleaning supplies to get rid of the stain. I shoved the empty bloodbags into the bed and covered them with some toilet roll.

"How was the carnival?" Jenna asked, drinking coffee at the table.

"Good," I lied. In all truth, it sucked.

I grabbed the supplies and rushed out of the room.

"Alex!" Jenna called after me. I stopped in my tracks. "I know something is up. Whatever's going on... I hope you know that you can talk to me."

"I can't, Jenna, not about this."

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **__Who should I pair Alex with? I have an idea who I might in the future, but I'd love to hear your suggestions._

_Love you guys!_


	4. Bad Moon Rising

**Bad Moon Rising**

"We're going to Duke," Elena said, leaning on the door frame. "Damon, Alaric and I are going to dig through Isobel's stuff. Alaric said she might have something on the lycanthrope."

"Damon?" She rolled her eyes, nodded and sighed. "Right. You kids have fun, but I'm gonna stay here and check up on Caroline," I said, putting on my jacket. "Two baby vampires, killed by the same person - that makes one hell of a conversation."

Elena nodded. "Keep me informed. I feel bad leaving you and Caroline, though. You must be scared."

I showed her my thumb and my index finger, there was a slight gap between them. "A little bit." Stefan walked into my bedroom and kissed Elena. "Uh... could you do that somewhere that's _not _my bedroom?"

He broke away from the kiss and smiled sheepishly at me. "Sorry."

I smiled at them, feeling a little sorry for myself. "It's okay." Elena and Stefan were good together, but if Elena continued to hang around with them, she'd eventually turn into a vampire. Their wouldn't last. My twin wanted children more than anything. "Let's go, Stef."

"Stef?" Stefan questioned, slightly amused.

"Yeah," I said in a 'duh' tone. "You're my new best friend. I give all my friends nicknames."

He smirked. "Oh?"

"Caroline's 'Care', Bonnie's 'Bon' or 'Bon-Bon', Matt is 'Matty' - I know, lame right? Tyler is Ty and you are Stef."

"And what about Damon?"

I scoffed. "He's not even on the list of people I'd consider as a 'friend'. Killing someone's brother and then telling them that you're just letting them live for entertainment doesn't really qualify as friendship." The corner of my mouth twitched upwards as I thought about Damon's nickname. "But if I was going to gift him with a nickname-" Stefan snorted. "-Probably Dames. Or Demon."

Stefan chuckled. "Demon is more fitting."

"Isn't it?" I smiled. "Come on, new best friend and vampire mentor, let's go help Caroline with the torture that is freakin' vampirism."

* * *

"Caroline killed someone, Stefan. I can't make it easier for her to do it again," Bonnie said. We were trying to convince her to make a daylight ring for Caroline. "Alex hasn't hurt anyone. It was easier for me make hers, but I don't trust her."

I had killed someone too, but Bonnie would never know that.

"No, we're not making it easier for her; we're just giving her the chance to survive. Listen, every day that she's cut off from her old life: from you, from Elena, from Alex, from Matt, it'll make It that much harder for her to hold on to her humanity," Stefan explained.

"And how do you know she won't hurt anyone else?" Bonnie asked the older vampire.

"We don't," I said. "But we have to trust her and help her keep it together. Give her a chance, Bon."

"I don't know if I can trust her, not with this," Bonnie said.

"You can trust me." I grasped her hand and smiled at her. "And Stefan. We won't let her hurt anyone."

I sounded like the biggest hypocrite in the world right now.

* * *

Caroline twirled the Lapis Lazuli ring in her hand, inspecting it. There was a slight look of disgust on her face. I sat on the bed next to her.

"I still can't believe I'm a vampire," she said. "And you... you're one too. And you're a witch."

"_Was _a witch." She raised an eyebrow in confusion. "You can either be a witch or a vampire, no one can be both."

"Well. That must suck."Caroline sighed as she stared at the ring. "So, I don't get to choose the ring I have to wear the rest of my life?"

"Hey, if you don't want it..." Bonnie said, Emily's grimoire open in front of her.

"No, no, she wants it," Stefan assured Bonnie.

"Now what?" Caroline pressed snappishly.

"Now is the part where I explain the rules." I noticed how she was kind of talking to me as well. Did she know? "The witch who spells the ring has the power to dispel it so if you ever do anything to hurt anyone…"

"I'm not gonna hurt anyone."

"You're a vampire. That means the urge to kill is a part of who you are. The minute you let it take over, I will stop you."

"You trust Alex!" Caroline whined. "Why can't you trust me?"

"Alex didn't kill anyone."

I stared at my hands. I did kill someone... and I liked it. I wanted to do it again. There was this temptation to just flip the switch at the back of my head, just stop feeling and revel in the taste of blood.

"Bonnie, you're supposed to be my friend"

"I can't ignore what happened, okay?" Bonnie snapped. "If you want to be friends, you have to prove that the Caroline I remember isn't gone. Now put the ring on the bed."

Caroline obeyed and placed the ring on the bed. "Do you really think I meant to kill that guy at the carnival?"

"He's still dead. Now, do you want me to cast the spell or not?"

Caroline nodded slightly and Bonnie opened the curtain, letting a small bit of light into the room and onto the ring. Bonnie closed her eyes and did the spell silently.

"All done," she told us, opening her eyes.

She handed Caroline the ring, which the blonde vampire accepted and slid onto her finger.

"So that's it? I mean nothing witchy happened. You know, no flickering lights, no gust of wind. Have you even done this before?"

"Caroline!" I scolded.

"I just want to make sure that worked."

Bonnie pulled over the curtains and Caroline protected herself with her arms, but she didn't burn.

"It worked," Bonnie announced.

"What if it hadn't, Bonnie?" Caroline yelled in a whiny voice.

Bonnie looked to me and Stefan. "She's all yours."

She took the grimoire and left. "Today," Stefan started, "I am going to give the two of you a lesson in vampire 101. First, we're going hunting."

_Hunting_? He wanted us to _hunt _humans? Then it hit me... No. He wanted us to hunt animals.

"I don't want to kill bunnies!" I exclaimed.

"Look, Alex, you have a problem. You're a potential ripper and I can't let you become that. It'd destroy you," Stefan said.

I rolled my eyes. "I am perfectly fine with blood bags."

"Really?" he asked and I nodded. "Then what's up with the dozen blood bags in the trash can? Most vampires only have around three or four a day."

I groaned. "_Fine_, look. I'm sorry, Stefan. I'll give this bunny-diet a try."

"Good." He smiled. "Caroline?"

"Okay."

* * *

"So what I do when I see the rabbit?" Caroline asked as we walked through the woods.

"Chase it, catch it, feed on it," Stefan answered.

"Isn't killing cute defenseless animals the first step in becoming a serial killer?" Caroline said.

"Well, you sort of skipped the serial killer and went straight to vampire. Caroline, if you're not serious about all of this I think you should tell me."

"No I am. Look, I swear that I am okay? But it's just… I haven't been in the sun for days and everyone is at the swimming hole having fun and Matt is there! And he finally told me that he loved me but I have been blowing him off and now you want me to eat bunnies and I'm kind of freaking out okay?" Caroline exclaimed.

Stefan and I went into a fit of laughter.

"And now you two are laughing at me," she stated.

I sobered up and put on my best straight face. "No. We're not laughing. It's just that..."

"What?!" Caroline snapped.

"What Alex means to say is: When someone becomes a vampire, all of their natural behaviors get sort of amplified."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… as a human I cared deeply for people, how they felt. If they were hurting I felt their pain and I felt guilty if I was the one who caused it and as a vampire all of that got… magnified," Stefan told her. "Alex had problems controlling her temper-"

I smacked him in the arm. "Hey!"

"-She was too proud." I smacked his arm again. He grinned. "And can hold grudges for a decade. Tom Walters was it?"

"Shut up!"

"And she was self-righteous, and now, she's that times ten. But she's also kind and caring an she can empathise with people," Stefan said.

I smiled at him. Caroline didn't look so amused. "So you're saying that now I'm basically an insecure, neurotic control freak... on crack?"

I snorted. "Well, I wasn't gonna say it like that but… hey, listen, let's hunt okay? And then after that we'll go to the swimming hole."

"Really?"

Stefan smiled. "Yeah. Matt is the closest connection that you have to your humanity and I think that being around him is a good thing."

Caroline nodded. "Okay. Alex, will you come?"

"Can't," I said, vamp-hearing a deer a while away. "I'd prefer to be a hermit for the rest of the day."

_Thirty Minutes Later_

I was vomitting up the blood from a deer. Stefan patted my back soothingly. "I am so done with this shit!"

* * *

The blood bags in my bedside locker were tempting me to rip them open. I couldn't take my eyes off of my locker, debating whether to have them. I'd only have one... but then one would turn to two, then to three... then before I knew it, I drank my entire supply. I was on ripper-edge.

Why couldn't I control this? Witches were meant to be the keepers of balance. I was a witch before I became a vampire, shouldn't I be better at this? And I had Stefan coaching me... But I didn't want to feed on animals for eternity. Human blood tasted so much better.

Was I gonna become a ripper? Would I turn it off? It scared me not knowing what my future held. In a couple years, I could change - either for the better or for the worse. I could become the perfect vampire or a full-blown ripper. My new appetite was breaking me down and turning me into something I wasn't.

My phone rang. _Damon is calling_. Wait... what? Damon never called.

"What? Gonna kill me now too?"

_"Alex! Don't go into the woods tonight, actually, stay locked up in your bedroom. Understood?"_

I rose an eyebrow. "Uh... okay. What's going on?"

_"We found out what the Lockwood's are," _Damon said. _"They're werewolves."_

I snorted. "_Werewolves_? Are you kidding me?"

_"Nope. They exist. They turn every full moon which happens to be tonight. And that's not all, their bite is lethal to vampires. It'll kill us."_

"What?"

_"One bite from a wolf, it's bye-bye eternity. That's what the legend says. So stay locked up. Got it, Gilbert vamp?"_

"Careful, Damon, somebody might think you actually care." I grinned.

Damon scoffed. _"It's for Elena. All for Elena."_

"Sure."

_"Don't leave your house."_

My grin widened as I hung up on the elder Salvatore. Then it hit me like a ton of friggin' bricks. Werewolves... existed. And their bite could kill me. One little munch and I was dead - _really _dead, not vampire dead.

I went downstairs to the kitchen. Jenna was making coffee. "Why didn't you go with Damon and Elena?"

"I had things to do today," I said brisquely, making it clear I didn't want to talk about it.

Jenna slammed her mug on the table. "What's going on with you lately? You're acting so weird and you snap at the smallest things." I pursed my lips and didn't respond. "Come on, Alex. We're closer than this."

I took a deep breath, contemplating what to tell her. "Things... have been complicated lately."

"Boy problems?" she asked.

"I wish," I muttered under my breath. I looked up to her and gave her a small smile. "I'll be okay, Jenna. I promise. There's just something happening in my life that I... I need to work out."

She nodded. "I understand. Just know I'm here for you if you need me. I know how hard being a teenager is, especially with your parents..." She stopped when she mentioned the taboo subject. Before, when someone mentioned my parents, I'd break apart. I wouldn't cry, I'd just lash out, but sometimes... it felt like my whole body just shut down. Like I was empty. That scared Jenna the most. "I'm here for you, Alex."

I teared up. Damn vampire super emotions! Jenna... she looked relieved. I think she thought I was still just some shell. Vampirism helped me come out of that shell... maybe it did help me in some ways. I'd forever hate Katherine for turning me into this, but this new me... I liked it. Kinda - occassionally. The blood lust was horrible and the urge to kill innocent people... that sucked.

But it was something I could get used to.

* * *

One chick flick with Jenna and a lot of tissues later, Elena came back home. Soon after her, Damon came in. He asked to talk with me.

"What do you want?" I growled, shoving my hands into my hoodie pockets.

He smirked that annoying Damon-smirk. "Don't be like that. I have an offer you can't refuse."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"Stefan's told me you don't like animal blood," Damon said. "Watched bambi one too many times, Gilbert?"

"Get to the point."

That smirk was still on his face. "You wanna learn how to be a good vampire? How to control the urges?"

I shrugged. "Of course I do."

"Then I think it's time you and I had a little road trip."

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **__Next chapter won't be apart of any episode. It's between episode three and four. _

_Hope you liked the chapter! Ideas for pairings? Plots? I love hearing your suggestions, so please review! _


	5. The Vampire Roadtrip

**The Vampire Roadtrip**

"Maybe we should go back," I suggested. "Elena and Jenna are probably worried sick."

Damon rolled his eyes. "Call them. Done. Ta-da!"

I sighed and leaned my head against the car window. "Where are we going anyway?"

I saw him smirk. "Someplace outta town. You'll love it. They let vampires feed on humans there."

"You'll stop me, though, won't you?" I asked. "If I go too far."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "We'll see. You know, Gilbert, I thought you'd be a much more boring vampire than this. You're almost a ripper."

He sounded so joyful. "You don't need to be so happy about it," I muttered. I straightened up in the seat. "So... what made you want to become a vampire-babysitter for the day?"

"Your sister," he answered, groaning. "She was mad that I 'killed'-" air quotes "-your brother, but he came back to life and your not angry, so..."

"I'm a forgiving person." I shrugged. "And I never liked you so it didn't disappoint me, it disappointed her a lot."

Damon frowned and narrowed his eyes at the front window. "You've changed."

I scoffed. "Can everyone stop telling me that? I'm a witch-turned-vampire, of course I've changed."

"Becoming a vampire magnifies who you already were as a fragile human or, in your case, as a self-righteous bitch-" I shot him a glare and he grinned. "-_witch_. But now, as a vampire, you're not shy or some vampire who needs to check into anger management. It's like you changed completely."

I let out a loud sigh. "I think this is who I always was. It took becoming a vampire for me realise that. I'm not shy or self-righteous. That's not me."

"This conversation has become too sappy." He turned on the radio and it played 'Bad Romance' by Lady Gaga.

"What's the name of this place we're going to?" I asked Damon as he sang along - _badly _- to Lady Gaga's song.

"The All You Can Eat Vampire Buffet." I shot him a dirty look. "Jimmy's."

I laughed. "_Jimmy's_? That's such a normal name for a..."

"Vampire snack bar?" I nodded. "He serves normal people too and the music is great. Trust me, you'll love it."

"Why are you doing this?" He raised an eyebrow. "Helping me?"

"I needed a day out and I happen to be amused by newbie vampires."

"So I'm the entertainment?"

"Uh-huh."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Sure. Maybe this has something to do with getting Elena's friendship back?"

"Nope. Not at all."

I nodded, an amused grin on my face. "You love her, don't you?" I asked. He didn't answer. "Not just because she looks like Katherine. You genuinely love her."

"Are you gonna give me some long speech about how I'm bad for her and to stay the hell away from your sister?" Damon said, a scowl plastered on his face.

"No." His head snapped over to me.

"I would have thought you prefer your sister with the good brother," he said. "Not shitty brother who does bad things."

"Oh, I do," I told him. "But you can't help who you love. And that sucks."

I didn't like getting close to people. The last time I said 'I love you' to someone was the night my parents died.

_"We're picking your sister up at the party," Mom said. "She got in a fight with Matt."_

_I gasped sarcastically and brought my hand to my mouth in faux shock. "The it-couple of Sophmore year got in a... in a fight?"_

_Jenna laughed. "It was bound to happen sometime. You two go, I'll stay with the kids."_

_"Hey, I am so not a kid," Jeremy argued._

_Jenna rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, Jer."_

_Dad put his hand on my shoulder affectionately. I had this bad feeling in my gut... it felt like I was drowning. It was only for a split second, but water suddenly filled my mouth and I couldn't breathe. I coughed and bent over._

_Dad patted my back. "It's okay, Lex. It's just your asthma."_

_Then it went and I stood up. "I feel fine now. That was weird..." My brows furrowed in confusion. I shook my head and smiled at them. "I'll take my inhaler anyway. I love you guys."_

_Mom wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek. "I love you too, Ally."_

_Mom was the only person who called me Ally, and Dad was the only person who called me Lex. I liked that._

_Dad ruffled Jeremy's hair. "We won't be long."_

_As they walked out that door... I had a strange feeling._

_Like I'd never see them again._

And that was the last time I said 'I love you' to someone.

"Alex? You there?" Damon snapped his fingers in my face.

I pushed his hand away from me. "Yes," I spat.

"No need to be so hostile." He pulled over. "We're here."

The place looked old and dirty. There were cracks in some of the windows and a gang of fat old men drinking beer and smoking cigarettes stood outside the bar.

"Lovely place," I commented.

"It's better inside."

We got out of the car and walked towards the bar. Some of the men wolf-whistled. "Hey, pretty lady, wanna have a good time?" he slurred.

I rolled my eyes and compelled him. "Leave me the hell alone."

There was a spark of surprise in his eyes, which quickly turned to confusion. He turned around and walked away. I smiled triumphantly.

"Good job," Damon complimented. "I never thought you had it in you."

"What? He was annoying me."

Damon shook his head, a grin on his face as we entered the bar. The elder Salvatore was right, it was a nice place. Vampires were feeding from the necks of compelled humans as others watched.

"The humans get compelled as soon as they come in here," Damon told me. "They don't scream or move - they just have a good time until it's time for them to give the vampires a blood donation."

I nodded distractedly. The music was great and retro - eighties, if I had to put a decade on it.

Damon offered me his hand. "Care to dance?"

I sent my eyes up to heaven, but smiled at him and took his hand. He led me to the dance floor.

Damon was a suprisingly good dancer. He spun me around and dipped me. I threw my head back and laughed.

Damon put me back up and held up one finger. "Give me a moment," he said.

I watched his retreating back. "He your boyfriend?"

I turned around to see a very handsome nineteen year old with tanned skin, black hair and brown eyes. "No. He's my mentor."

He chuckled. "Your a baby vamp, then?"

I scowled at him and tilted my head to the side. "Yes. You?"

"Been around for a century," he answered. "I know Damon from way back. Brings his girls here every so often."

Amused, I raised an eyebrow. "His girls?"

"Ladies he's turned," he replied. "You're not one of them, then?"

I shook my head. "He's an acquaintance. Maybe a friend... enemy. Frenemy?" I shugged and laughed softly. "I don't know. It's complicated."

The man laughed. "He's a complicated man. I didn't catch your name."

"Alex," I answered, smiling. "And your n-"

"Jimmy!" Damon boomed from behind me, a compelled blonde girl in his clutches. "I see you've met Alex."

"Jimmy?" I repeated, looking from him to Damon and back. "As in Jimmy's? You own this place?"

He grinned. "I built it."

Damon clapped him on the back. "Look, Jim, I gotta help an innocent young vampire adjust, so if you don't mind..."

"Not at all."

Jimmy gave me a small smile as he left. I glared at Damon. "Hey, he was cute."

Damon snorted. "We're here for vampire 101, not picking up guys. Besides, Jimmy isn't your type."

"Oh? What is my type then?"

He smirked. "Dark, handsome, first name starts with 'D' and ends in 'N'."

I rolled my eyes. "Your an idiot."

Damon decided to get to work. "Feed." He pushed the girl to me.

I glanced to him for reassurance. He nodded. Damon better stop me if I... No. I wouldn't. I'm gonna get this under control.

I bit into her neck and sucked. Blood from the vein was so much better than blood from a blood bag. I closed my eyes shut and concentrated on feeding. Nothing felt better than feeding on a human. The girl didn't squirm, or scream. She simply let herself become a take-away.

She weakened beneath me. This was when I pull away, but I couldn't. I wanted more. I wanted to drain the life out of her, to take every drop of blood out of her system. I wanted to kill her.

"Alex," Damon warned. I didn't listen. "Alex, it's time that you stop. You don't want to kill her."

It took everything I had to pull away. She fell to the floor, a large wound on her neck. I smiled proudly. "I did it. Damon, I did it." I wrapped my arms around him. He tensed up and patted my back awkwardly. "Thank you."

He gripped my shoulders gently and pulled me away. "Hey, I don't do hugs."

"Come on, Damon," I said, smirking. "We both know your a goof-ball underneath all that 'mister dark, killer guy' facade."

"You think this is a facade?" He looked amused.

I patted his head. "There, there, I'll give you time to accept it."

I knelt down beside the unconscious girl and bit into my wrist before shoving my blood into her mouth. She was unresponsive at first, but then gulped down the blood like there was no tomorrow after a few seconds.

The girl's eyes burst open. "What happened?" she said, looking around. The blonde then backed away from me, still on the floor. "You almost drained me of blood. Your a-your a vampire!"

"How did the compulsion stop working?" I asked Damon.

He shrugged. "Near death experience."

I moved over to her and gripped her blood hair, not too roughly though. "You're gonna leave here and go home. As soon as you walk out of this bar, you'll forget everything that happened today. You're okay."

Her facial expression softened and she stood up and left, ignoring the vampires feeding on the humans. Compulsion was pretty handy.

I got up. "You're getting good at this, Alex."

I smiled at him genuinely. "I've had a pretty great teacher."

* * *

The next morning, Damon drove me home. I fed on a few more people that night, sometimes Damon and I shared a human, and we danced. I never had so much fun in my life. Damon taught me that being a vampire wasn't all that bad. It was actually kinda fun if you knew how to control it. I still had the urges, the temptation of human blood was still strong, but the knowledge that I could stop soothed me.

We walked up to the porch. "That was fun," I said. "You're a great mentor."

He smiled. It wasn't a haughty smirk or an annoying grin, but a smile. "Better than Stefan?"

"Puh-lease," I scoffed, waving a hand in the air. "Stefan wanted me to eat bunnies and little Bambi's. You taught me how to stop and control the intake of blood. It's obvious who's the better teacher."

Damon chuckled. "You're not the worst company in the world."

"Gee, thanks."

"Fine." He rolled his eyes. "I had fun. It's fun being a mentor. My mentor: Sage, she taught me the ropes. I liked being the same with you."

I smiled. "Night, Damon."

"Goodnight, Alex."

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **__I thought it was important to include Alex's adjustment to vampirism. Did you like Damon/Alex?_

_Review!_


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